It’s been more
than a year since I last posted here, I’m sorry folks it has been quite a, year
for me, but it has been quite therapeutic, when now actualizing my transition.
To explain more on the title of this entry. I
remember a scene from the show “How I met your mother”; my letters to "Future Ted" (Ted writing in his diary to future ted on why he broke up with his ex-girlfriends so that whenever he would miss one of them, he would just read back on the reasons why they broke up) and me putting it into more writing has help me really understand the reality of my most recent affairs and little by little it is helping me surpass it. A lot has happened in one
year, lost my laptop, Broke up with the guy from my last blog (so we actually
got together eventually lol) graduated college and now I’m part of the working
mass.
2011-2012
felt like 2011-2045, exaggeration aside, actually realizing what has happened
to me for the past year has been quite life changing. Two men broke inside our home in Makati last December,
stole my laptop, couple of phones, cards and some cash. At that time I was
already having relationship problems and it was quite hard for me to let go of
something very personal to me. It was the same feeling of losing a best friend,
to be more sentimental I felt like Samantha died (the name of my laptop, sorry
if this sounds corny). Even so I tried to compensate by going out with friends
and reading books, just to entertain my adventurous ass off.
The
guy that I was talking about from my last blog, the guy who gave me “the” ride
and who shall not be named! Finally we came around and have been together for
about six months, it was a hell of a relationship. That relationship was both
satisfying and harmful at the same time. I did things that I never thought I could,
up until the point that I planned my future and made sure he was always in the picture.
We always thought that we’d always end up with the ones we are with presently
but the most important lesson that I’ve learned through this experience is
that, in life nothing is certain you just have to savor the moment and hope for
the best. It was also one of the bravest
things I’ve than in my whole life time, breaking up with someone I thought I could
never let go. Something who has become a
really big part of my life. After finally calling it quits with him, I realized
I was blinded by the fleeting happiness that one could feel when you’re madly
in love. I realized the bigger picture
outside our own little world, and just recently did I know that in our world
there were four women sharing it with me which I honestly did not know during
that time! So much of a small world.
After
thesis, it has been like a blink of an eye until graduation day, everything became
fast phased, little did me and my block mates understand especially my group of
friends that soon we'll eventually part ways and that we have to let go of something
that became a big part of our lives-college and then eventually we'll all start
working. In less than a week after my last day of school, I immediately started
working, I was eager to start ahead and plan my future thinking that everything
that I have planned for me would immediately set into place, until I actually “start”
working and having experience the hardship of working for a boss and dealing with
different kinds of people, it was hard at first but then it became easy when I met
two office mates who started the same time as me, after spending lunch together for
the first time immediately it was like we became bff’s. Aside from the fun job description and atmosphere
they are the ones who’s making everything easy for me and making me look
forward to go to work. My company has been approachable and accommodating,
there’s not a thing or two that I could wish for more, and this was the life. But
I know eventually we all have to transude into better individuals that are congruent
to what we really want. And I hope towards reaching my dreams, and I know it will
take years before, I hope I am still here with my work family. That’s how much
it became my world now.
So
right now, realizing a lot on life, I’m starting to get high on it again,
riding the bus of life, just like in kindergarten, exploring and learning new
things and meeting different people from different walks of life, my job has
enabled me to experience things that I know one day I would definitely share with
my children. In terms of the “romantic relationship” I’m on a break :D, It
seems my mind has been reprogrammed, prioritizing biologically the really more “important”
things in life. And I have never felt awesome having my Jane back in my world and
on the path towards her dreams! :) Ciao
